Friday, April 5, 2013

A Good Day to Die Hard: The Re(al) - view

John McClane: Need a hug?
Jack McClane: We're not a hugging family.
John McClane: Damn straight!
After spending an hour and thirty seven minutes watching one of my anticipated movies of the year, I felt really REALLY sad. Die Hard 5 (will be further referred to as DH5) was really poor in almost all areas, except for  its direction, but before ripping it to shreds, this question must be asked - What makes Die Hard so awesome?

Answer: John McClane's questionable mortality. How? In the first and best, He was against a well organised terrorist/robber team, handicapped by bloodied feet. The second, against a military unit (who are also well organised). Third, against the older brother to villain number one's older brother who is also highly organised and quite brilliant. And fourth, against a super computer hacker, whose guys are really good with firearms; and a military jet.

Now DH5, the bad guy is Komarov, but we don't even know who he is till the final quarter of the movie (and we don't care any more). Also, John (Bruce Willis) is more or less a supporting actor, with Jack (his estranged son portrayed by Jai Courtney) as the main actor; number one reason why this is not a die hard movie.

Second reason is the plot (Oh! Where to begin), this plot is so bad that its a bore just coming up with this review. For starters, what exactly was Jack McClane's plan with Komarov; how exactly was he going to  extracting him without the help of the guys that seemed to want to kill him. What exactly was John's plan in rescuing his son from the authorities, seeing as he's a cop and finally how do you go into Chernobyl without any protective suit to protect them from radiation after all the bad guys wore suits while they went in, or is the  McClane gene resistant to radiation. Call marvel pronto!

Third, no villain. the whole attempt by Skip Woods (the dude that wrote this disaster of a screenplay) to mess with our minds by introducing the real villain at the last minute was pointless as the entire story was so dull that I simply didn't care when the 'twist' was introduced.

And finally, awful awful acting. Jai Courtney's portrayal was just bad. period! To make things worse, his character Jack was the film's protagonist, with John as the support. C'mon people this is Die 'friggin' Hard! As for Alik (portrayed by Radivoje Bukvić) you know the carrot chewing and dancing bad guy, He was again awful, all attempts to come across funny felt stupid.

The only good thing to come out of this movie was the action sequences, as the director, John Moore, tried to make up for the nonsensical script by giving us some very loud and awesome action scenes.

Opened: February 14, 2013 Runtime: 1 hr. 38 min. Genre: Action, Adventure Rated: R

NB: I nearly missed that Yippee Ka-Yay moment that everyone seems to be looking out for these days, it was said in an anti-climaxed manner. Shame on you Skip, SHAME!